Divorce is hard for people to go through, but when you add child custody into the mix of things, then it’s a different ball game. Well, if you are fighting for your child’s custody, then here are some things that you need to avoid.

What Not To Do During Child Custody?

Letting Your Emotions Drive You

Divorces can be a roller coaster of emotions. You’re hurt one moment, angry the other, and the next thing you know you’re moving on like there’s no worry in your world. So, yes, divorces can take a toll on your mental health and emotions, but what you don’t want to do is project the emotions onto something that could lead to drastic results.

Child custody cases are the few cases where you need to reel your emotions in and work with logic. There are lots of places where you think you’ll burst, but you want to hold onto your sanity for your and your children’s sake.

Your emotions can completely change the course of the case, so make sure that you keep them in check. This will only work out for you in the end and you’ll be thankful that you had your head in the game, rather than deep in emotions that are temporary.

Badmouthing The Other Parent

This is something that a lot of parents can do, especially if they’re not on good terms with their spouse and they want to get their children on their side too. This is petty behavior at best. You have to be mature and not drag children into your mess.

Badmouthing the other parent in front of the child will only make you look like a bad person. Yes, you might not be the best of friends, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be cordial. So, make sure that you don’t make this mistake in front of the kids because they will know.

No Communication

This is also something that a lot of parents can do when they’re getting divorced on a sour note. Things are not the best between the two and you guys don’t even communicate. Well, that’s not the best when it comes to child custody, because if there’s any chance of getting what you want, then it is by communication.

You don’t have to be a doormat. There is nothing wrong with holding a conversation with someone you don’t want to speak to, as long as it is beneficial for you. Cutting off communication never does anyone good.

Gaining Sympathy From Children

Gaining your child or children’s sympathy to outsmart everyone is never going to end well. You might get your kids on your side, but at what expense? You don’t want to know. There is a certain level of trust that you have to put in your kids to make the right choice and forcing them to do anything, even taking your side, isn’t the best thing to do.

So, as much as it hurts you, the last thing you need from your kids is sympathy. This is your situation and if anything, the kids are stuck in it, because of the parents, so you have to think of things that way.

Not Letting The Other Parent See The Child

This is also something that will not end well if you keep it up. You don’t want to isolate the child and not allow them to meet the other parent.

Of course, there are exceptions like physical abuse and neglect from that parent, and this could be why you’re divorcing them and getting custody of the kids in the first place, but if both parents sincerely love the kids then there’s no reason to isolate them. This is not going to go unnoticed in court, just so you know and you’ll shoot yourself in the foot with this antic.

Using Social Media

In this day and age, social media is an amazing platform, but what you don’t want to do is use it to publicize your situation and put yourself and your kids in the spotlight.

As great as social media is, it is also an infinite ground for speculation and judgment, so you want to steer clear of any ways of trying to gain sympathy from people who are practically strangers. Keeping things to yourself is the best thing you can do.

Using Manipulation Tactics On Children

Manipulating kids in your favor is not good at all and believe it or not, it’s not going to go unnoticed in court. Lawyers and judges see hundreds of child custody cases regularly, if not more, so if you think that your use of manipulation is perfect, then it’s not, because the right people with an eye for detail will see right through it.

So, whatever you do, manipulating your kids will only make them resent you even more, even if they don’t understand it now. It’s not going to go down well and you might just lose everything.

Moving Away Without Telling Anyone

This is also something that some parents can do and again, this is pettiness at its best. Moving away with your kids without even telling anyone is a clear sign that you have something to hide and you’re trying to save your skin and face. Well, that’s not going to end well, if you thought so. So, it’s better to show up and face everything with a determined vibe and energy.

You don’t need to move away unless there’s a solid reason behind the move and for that, you will need to consult with your lawyer because you have to think a hundred times before you take a step in any direction in child custody cases.

Not Going To Court

Missing court dates, not showing up for meetings and proceedings and just being stubborn will not work in your favor. It’s not good for the kids either. They will see right through everything and they will know who is making the real effort and who’s not.

So, always make sure that you show up to every court hearing because even though you might think that things are not going your way, you need to trust the process and give everything you have before leaving the rest to the justice system. If you’re not in the wrong, then nothing bad or unwanted will happen.

Neglecting The Child

Even though going through a divorce is painful, you don’t want to take it out on your kids. It’s none of their fault, so don’t neglect them when they also need someone the most. You have to think by being in their shoes. Their family dynamic completely changed and it’s because of the parents.

So, they shouldn’t suffer from neglect, just because the parents didn’t get along well. Be there for them as well.

Conclusion

Child custody cases can play out either way. They can either be in your favor or not, but doing these things will give you the shorter end of the stick. So, be smart and look out for these things.